Outro: Last Day at Montrose
Last day at Montrose
Day Eight: Someone must have shit themselves again.
Again, Michael is bellowing, “BREAKFAST IRENE, BREAKFAST! BREEAAAKKKFAAAAAAAST!” My body feels like cement, weighed down by the nightly pill cocktail, and it takes me a while to finally get out of bed. We get to watch the news this morning and I cannot believe my luck! There’s a story
Day Seven: "I used to be a bad bitch, but now the government is after me!"
It took a while for the trazodone, benadryl, seroquel, and hydroxyzine to kick in but I fell asleep around 2am, after pacing the halls and tracking the clock at the Nurses station. Michael is yelling at me again to come to breakfast, and I sit with Kayla to enjoy our
Day Six: Powdered Eggs
Before I get out of bed, I hear an announcement coming from the hallway. It’s Micheal singing, “Breakfast! Breakfast! Irene, it’s time for BREEAAAAKKKFAAAAASSSTTT” in a booming, operatic voice. DJ left last night, so I take a seat next to Peaches, who tells me he’s being released
Day Five: Sexually Acting Out
Shocked that I actually slept last night, I walk into the dayroom and DJ and Melissa are already in a sour mood. They point out two new nurses who have made the morning absolute hell so far: one is built like a linebacker and wearing an orange jersey, and another
Day Four: Strung Out and Barefoot in East Peoria
There’s bits of dried egg, SunChip crumbs, and sticky juice spots covering the dayroom floor when I walk in late for breakfast on Sunday morning. Peaches and Cathy are parked in two chairs directly in front of the TV, the same spots they’ve occupied for the past three
Day Three: A Psych Ward 8; an Outside World 5
In the middle of the night, I get a new roommate - Tori. Before she settles into bed, she asks the BHA for a fruit cup and some water. I have a feeling she has been here before. Tori is a great roommate - no snoring, no moving around, no farting. I
Day Two: The Booty Juice
I shuffle into the dayroom for breakfast, which appears to be eggs (although the texture is very different); two wet, swollen gray fingers (sausages); a yellow triangle of hash brown; and a yogurt. I avoid the fingers and a fellow inmate, Stella, asks if she can have them. She’s
Introduction
On Feb 5 2026 I was hospitalized for mental health reasons; which is to say, I checked into a psych ward due to suicidal ideation. It was the absolute nadir of my existence. My hospitalization was preceded by two years of unemployment; a desperate attempt to start a matchmaking business;
Prelude
You are an animal. You can smell fear. When you are backed into a corner, you cower or you fight back. Your pupils involuntarily dilate when you see something you like, and your eyes squint when you don’t believe what someone tells you. You navigate the world through sight,
Day One: "This ain't Club Med, Miss Irene."
First night in the psych ward!!
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